You’re a man now.

The last few months have been intense to say the least. After all the college rejections and my short week of being completely depressed. The most I have ever been in my life. I believe I have come a long way within a month. I am set on the college I want to go to. I am legal! I am actually writing this on my birthday because I am awesome like that.

So tomorrow is the Vagina Monologues an event we have been waiting for … well for a long time. The last years we were told that we “weren’t mature enough” and the “community wouldn’t approve”. Our last principal was a fucking monster disused in a petite frame and a cloyingly sweet southern accent. If by any chance she is reading this. You are fucking insane. Yeah I know I am classy. This year making the production happen has gone through many ups and downs *emotional rollercoaster*. Today at rehearsal it was a definite UP. We had great energy in the room we were pumped, a bit hesitant but we got this down. Showtime is tomorrow and I can’t wait for it!

So now you may be asking, “what is going on in your life Alexis?”. You probably aren’t but a girl can only hope. Today was my birthday and I was surprised with a cakes (garden gnome cakes!) and refreshments and a song upon entering the auditorium for a “V-Day set design meeting”. I had an inkling something would happen along those lines when I received a text message from my friend Jenny, but I didn’t want to get my hopes up. Walk in all smiles waiting for a cake or song and have everyone tell me to get to work.

So I got not one but two cakes shaped like a garden gnome! My friends are amazing! I love them. I got a pentapus necklace and ballon from one of my friends and a very touching letter and badass amazon gift card from one of my teachers. Did I mention there were those puffy garden gnome stickers all over? Yeah.

It was  a swell day. I got home and was ambushed by my family and was treated with respect. Well just because it was my birthday. I was given pizza which was okay. Yes just okay. Then I saw a chocolate cake being brought it. I was disappointed because I hate chocolate cake. Especially if it has that whipped cream texture. It tastes like chemicals to me. I didn’t know how to react except with polite contempt. My face is a dead giveaway of how I am feeling. I know it may sound bratty of me but I can’t help it. I know I should be grateful. I know. Its just… I hate that kind of cake. So of course everyone took it to heart and go upset over it. Which made me pissed. Because it was now about THEM… on MY day. Its MY day for goodness sakes. These are the type of things that makes me eager to leave this fall. It can never be about my life. My family takes on a communist outlook with this type of stuff.  Like a person’s future. A persons choice. Damn Reds. I need to get out of here as soon as possible. I hereby mark this the death of the old Alexis and the Birth if the new independent Alexis. Fuck yeah.

Published in: on April 29, 2011 at 4:31 am  Leave a Comment  

Can anyone remember love?

I finally decided to order from a company called One Hand Washes the Other I have heard glowing reviews from Grey over at and Renee over at so I decided what the hell! Why not?!

I ordered 8 perfume samples. The total came to about 20 dollars with shipping. I placed my order on 1/31/11 and received it today on Valentines day. Needless to say I was thrilled when I received my order. I squealed. Along with my order I received 2 solid scent samples and a few Valentines day stickers. So they definitely get an A+ for that as well as presentation.  Check it out.


I know scents are subjective, but I thought I would give you my input on what I thought about the scents so it could help you in making a decision. They have a crap ton of scents. You can find the list of scents and their descriptions here.

and here

Now let me describe to you they type of scents I like and don’t like, just so you understand where I am coming from. I like fruity and gourmand scents, but I hate hate hate scents from Victoria’s Secret and anything that smells synthetic or pre-teen like. I get chills every time I smell Bath and Body Works Sweet Pea (memories from 6th grade locker rooms, puberty, sweat, and Sweet Pea do not go hand in hand). I love complex vanilla scents as well as tropical crisp scents.  So lets get on with the scent descriptions…

Scent Descriptions:

Sugar Skulls a custom fragrance created for a very wonderful customer, this is a blend inspired by Dia de los Muertos, or, the Day of the Dead. You’ll smell sweet baked goods, vanilla cookies, anise, and roses- all the scents of a stroll through a Mexican neighborhood at that time of the year.

My Interpretation: Right from the wand it smells like sugar cookies. Plain and simple, but when I put it on my skin the cookie is still there but moreso in the background and then the scent of licorice really comes forward, I don’t really get a strong rose smell from this at all. The scents all melt together so there is no overpowering cookie smell they just work well together. This is gourmand in the spring. Think of eating a sugar cookie in the grass. This will be sweet but not cloying I really love the dry down on this.


Be Mine: Be Mine is the smell of a thousand heart-shaped cinnamon red-hots  sprinkled liberally on buttercream-frosted cupcakes, accompanied by a bowl of punch, cups of coffee and tea; all served at an antique wooden table laden with roses, jasmine and orange blossoms; the perfect Valentine’s Day afternoon teatime treat

My Interpretation: Upon opening the vial I got a sweet cinnamon scent. Now I am not into spicy or cinnamon (in my perfumes at least) but this didn’t repel me instantly there was something about it. Once on your skin the cinnamon starts to go away and I get a fruit punch note with a slight, very slight, floral in the background. It is a very unique scent it evolves quite strangely. This makes me feel as though I am sitting in my boudoir in Autumn waiting for a gentleman caller to bring me a flower. One flower. While drinking cinnamon tea and fruit punch. You must smell this since this is limited edition get it while you can. Even if you don’t like cinnamon its delicious!


Sugar Plum Tippler: And you thought you knew everything there was to know about the Sugar Plum Fairy! She’s got some rather unseemly habits, but hey- we all have our secrets! Sweet Ripe Plums, Sugared Violets, Almond, Tobacco, Grapefruit, Vanilla, Jasmine and just enough Cognac to take the edge off.

My Interpretation:Upon opening it I detect a strong berry candy scent, just like if your were to open a bag of berry flavored gummies. Once on the skin it maintains that berry candy feel to it. I can detect a hint of violets in the background but not so much so that you end up smelling like a rich widowed woman who’s house is filled with dusty antiques and violets.  If you like sweet fruity scents pick this one up it has a candy feel to it with sophistication to it due to the scent of violets.  You may or may not be able to pick this up since it was limited edition with the holiday scents.  Which is funny because I think it would be great for spring time.


Honey Crisp: Compare to Honey I Washed the Kids, this is scrumptious toffee and honey. Delectable honey and toffee scent are supported by background notes of fruit and musk. Top notes: citrus, honey-floral bouquet. Middle notes: peach, apple, toffee. Bottom notes: woody, musky.

My Interpretation: Lush’s Honey I Washed the Kids is my favorite scent that Lush has to offer hands down. Now although I do love the scent in my opinion the soap is just OK and not worth the nine dollar price tag. Upon opening the vial I dectet a slight soapiness (maybe its because I associate this with soap) and a dead on smell to HIWTK. It is a bit distant. Almost as if you were smelling the soap through the wrapper. It smells like sweet clean honey. I wish the toffee note in this was stronger but it is pretty damn close if not dead on. Don’t let the word toffee freak you out its a very clean and yummy scent. Its not too gourmand at all on a scale from 1 to 5(OMGPRETEENCUPCAKESCHOCOLATEANDCANDY) I would give it a 2.5. I would love a full size of this.


Gimme Shelter: Compare to Comforter, this is a fruity dark patchouli scent. Instant relaxation with this uplifting and comforting fragrance with its notes of fresh citrus tones of orange and bergamot leading to the warm heart. Soft floral tones combine with clove and cinnamon as leafy green accents add dramatic texture to the blend. An earthy element is created with patchouli, while fresh minty pennyroyal lifts the spicy tones. Sweet vanilla and soft musk are carefully balanced at the base of the scent. Top notes: orange, bergamot, clove, mint. Middle notes: floral, spice, green, patchouli. Bottom notes: musk, vanilla.

My Interpretation: Opening the vial I immediately get a fruity patchouli scent. Once on my skin the patchouli calmed down a bit, but didn’t disappear oh no. This patchouli is here to visit but wont overstay it’s welcome.  Soon the musk and vanilla join the party and accompany the fruit and patchouli. Its a relaxing clean scent and won’t clog your sinuses. I personally have been wanting to be a patchouli wearing gal but I have to ease myself in slowly. This is a great scent for anyone that wants to start trying patchouli type scents.


And a Partridge in a Pear Tree: I may have been unable to come up with any scent inspiration for 11 lords a leaping or 5 golden rings, but a pear tree? Heck yes. Bartlett Pears, Olive Leaves, Violets and Lychee, because I don’t know what a partridge smells like, but I imagine lychee smells better than a partridge.

My Interpretation:Now when I first smell it I get straight-up pear. Once it is on the skin it turns into a crisp and refreshing almost soapy but more laundry like and leafy. The pear is still there but the olive leaves and lychee bring a nice refreshing spin on this. It would be fabulous for spring! I hope Becca brings these back along with Sugar Plum Tippler. It would be nice to see a spring collection. Overall this is a very fresh and crisp scent that fruit lovers will enjoy as well.


Peach Tea: Smelling of deep-brewed iced black tea spiked with fresh-sliced peaches, this scent is a summery blend great for relaxing in the shade on the front porch.

My Interpretation: When I opened the bottle and sniffed the first word that came to mind was ‘icky’. I was very hesitant to put this on my skin but I did so anyways. Once I put on my skin the ickyness went away and the peach made its appearance. Now the peach is rather subdued its more of a sidekick rather than the hero. The black tea is really apparent so it has and herbal feel to it.


ConstancePink lady apples, creamy white chocolate, fresh flowers, a whiff of musky worn leather and a hint of dried hay… and a dash of mother’s rose water for good measure. Constance is Corinne’s sister scent, but the addition of tea rose adds a whole new girlier dimension, creating a difference scent on the drydown. Constance is no tomboy, she’s a confirmed girly-girl… with an affinity for leather.

My Interpretation: Now I was really excited for this scent but when I opened I was frightened. As I stated earlier I more of a gourmand and fruity type girl. I have no leather type scents. Needless to say I was unprepared. The hay and leather really come through in this scent. I can faintly detect the white chocolate and apples but faintly. My experience with this scent is that of an older married couple trying to spice things up in the bedroom with some bondage and role playing (naughty cowboy/cowgirl) that just did not work out and they just ended up with a broken hip and costumes/leather accessories that wont be worn again. If you like leather then by all means go for it, but this was just not my cup of tea. It is quite strong, my mother said it smells like where witches congregate… you can interpret that in whichever way you’d like.


Solid Scent Sample in Vanilla: This is a super sweet and rich vanilla scent, almost more of a buttercream than a vanilla.-Its smells like Vanilla. Thats it. Your basic sweet vanilla. It just smells like Vanilla! This would be a great scent to get to layer. I found that if I mixed it with Honey Crisp is helped sweeten it up a bit more.


Salty Mariner: Salty marine notes and fresh rain mingle with lily of the valley, jasmine, leafy greens, pine and musk. Experience the beautifully mastered essence of the thunder of waves crashing against the shore, the salty air in your face and the soft crunch of seashells beneath your feet. Imagine yourself at sea, with your face being lightly sprinkled with ocean spray.

My Interpretation:I got a shampoo like feel to this. It is very refreshing and oceanic. I am not one for ocean type scents but if you are check this one out. Its very unisex and would smell lovely on a man.  Mmm ocean men. I gave it to my father, he said it smelled clean. Whether or not he wore it I have no idea, he felt it may have leaned a bit on the flowery side.


Overall: I definitely look forward to ordering again from One Hand Washes the Other soon. I love the scents I received along with the extra goodies and presentation was excellent! Prices were reasonable. This is a fantastic company. So go buy your goodies now!



Published in: on February 15, 2011 at 2:02 am  Leave a Comment  

Summer’s Eve

A poem for Literature about female empowerment, definatley not my best, but it was last minute and will do.

Since birth she was lost in translation

Every word out of her mouth went under manipulation

Wrapped in a soft pink blanket

Quilted yet loosely knit

It was about what he said

But what she said unraveled the last thread

Her throat strained from silencing screams

So sore and raw couldn’t even be soothed with vanilla ice cream

It would melt together with her blood

Create a thick pink elixir

And would flood her room

and leak onto the floor

And out the door

And drown the world with her cloying words

Too warm and sweet even for humming birds
It was melted by the vengeful heat

at first thought to be a shallow pool

of watery defeat.

Reduced to being another daughter

She stopped swimming

now knowing she too could walk on water


Published in: on February 7, 2011 at 8:28 am  Leave a Comment  

Oh Yeah! Now cover it in chocolate! Oh Yeah!

I recently made these lovely cake balls, of course inspired by the lovely Bakerella. In this I used Yellow Cake Mix (shhh I know I prefer making my own but I was short on time and money!) Added some mushed up bananas, and let my mind go crazy. After baking and adding the frosting, I rolled the balls. Which was harder than expected! The cake was still a bit warm and it fell apart at times in my hand. I froze them for about an hour. Then went to town dipping them in chocolate and covering them in sprinkles. Looks good no? I want to make more soon, but its such a hassle. I need someone willing to roll some balls for free. Any takers before I head to craigslist?

Published in: on January 25, 2011 at 7:46 am  Leave a Comment  

Write That Shit Down!

Have you ever sat in class, or anywhere really and heard a combination of words that just sounded right. Well my friends and I were fond of creating possible band names, you know for whenever we make that gypsy cabaret all girl band with the exception of the drummer who is a gay male. I would play the violin.  My favorites are in bold.

1. The Religious Women Who Turn On the Faucet Whilst They Pee
2. The Ill-Tempered Children
3. The Lactating Milkmaids
4. The Superlatives
5. The Homosexual Garden Gnomes
6. Jerking Off to the Sounds of Mozart
7. The Shakespearean Daughters of the American Revolution
8. Deep Vain Thrombosis
9. Attendu Perdu
10. The Lemons From Yemen
11. The Aqueous Reactions
12. Winifred, John Mead, and Mildred
13. Arbiter of American Taste
14. Haymarket Radicals
15. Nocturnal Emmisions
16. The Suffragettes
17. Protestant by Nature

Published in: on January 19, 2011 at 7:06 am  Leave a Comment  

the server understood the request but is refusing to fulfill it

Lately, everyone has been sensitive, and its pissing me off. Usually I am the sensitive one, but lately I’ve been cold. I’ve begun to not let things get to me too much. My entire life I have always had a bad temper, but now rather than snapping at them or getting really worked up I refuse to show any emotion. Superficially of course. I am still human and I react to it on my own time. But if you upset/hurt me you’ll probably get a cold silent face staring back at you

Recently, there was an incident that really for the lack of a better term pissed me off. For the sake of being polite I will keep this very vague. So vague its not even worth it. Anyways, I am in high school in case you were not aware. Its my senior year which means , college applications, scholarships, and crazy sex and drugs. Well not really the last part at all. I just needed a third item. So I was applying for a scholarship a major one and I needed a recommender. Being the procrastinator that I am I asked quite late, like a few days late, like day of late. The person I asked agreed to do it for me, despite the short notice which I did apologize for. To make a long story short the person did not come through, I was mad, the person was mad that I was mad at them and is now mad at me. So in the words of the Cheshire Cat, “We’re all Mad Here”  Point being it ended bad. I knew this person quite a while and got along with them, and now I suppose this whole fiasco put an end to that.

I still don’t feel like I am at fault here. I don’t think that will ever change. I refuse to even provide a fake apology. I rarely apologize, I get that from my mother. If I am positive I did nothing wrong you can bet your life you won’t be getting any “I’m Sorry” from me. Unless I need something from you. Thats a fact. It hurts to own up to your mistakes, I know I have a major sense of pride and I tend to admit apologizing when I’m wrong. I know that makes me a bad person, but god I hate saying those words two words. It makes me feel so little. Maybe the person I mentioned above is having the same dilema. I can’t say for sure, but that tingling feeling in my ovaries makes me think thats the case. On a lighter note I will leave you with a picture from my trip to Solvang, California, the cutest damn town you have ever seen.

Cute little candy store

Can I live here?

Published in: on January 16, 2011 at 8:48 am  Leave a Comment  

What do you mean you aren’t sure if it’s vanilla soy milk!?

I know catchy title right. So today I had a potluck to go to with a group of close friends among that group is my friend Violet. She recently went vegan. This made me reconsider our friendship, as I am sure you understand. I am kidding of course, but this decision did upset me as I had cooking and baking recently peak my interest, this limited what I could cook for her. In any case I wanted to make my usual go to pasta from The Pioneer Woman. But I had to do without the heavy cream, and butter.  So me and my friend we improvised.

We started off by adding 16 oz. of farfalle pasta to a pot of boiling water, and let it do its thing.

Then we chopped 1 onion 3 cloves of garlic and some parsley (feel free to change this up a little less garlic, a little more, whatever floats your boat.

Then onto the vegan heav cream substitute: We decided to make a mixture of soy milk and tofu. I wasn’t exact on measurements but at the end you want 1 cup of the mixture.

I used about 3/4's of the cut up portion

So in your handy dandy blender you mix up the soy milk and tofu, use your best judgement for consistency. In the end it was a bit grainy, in the visual sense not the textural sense, you could clearly see the tofu bits in there. I used regular firm tofu you may want to use silken tofu, but we couldn’t get our hands on it so we improvised.


This is our heavy cream substitute, 1 cup shall do.

Okay so now you want to add 2 tablespoons of extra virgin olive oil, make sure its extra virgin none of that slutty stuff. (I am kidding I am not quite sure what happens if you use other oil I just prefer EVOO) to a large skillet and let that heat up.

Next in add your cut up onion and garlic. (amount will vary depending on personal taste)

Once thats been in there and cooked up a bit add in 16 oz. of tomato sauce (2 8 oz. cans )

Stir in in for a bit and let it mingle with the flavors in the pan

Next I added the mixture in. I was a bit worried since, it had a different texture, but I put that aside and continued. I proceeded to add some seasonings. I never measure my seasonings I go by taste. I added garlic salt, pepper, and red pepper flakes. After I had a taste. Okay so this had me worried it was sweet. Too sweet. Almost vanilla ice cream sweet. I turned to Violet and asked, “Was it vanilla soy milk?” In return I got a concerned look and she expressed to me that she wasn’t sure. Now that I look back I remember her smelling the cup and saying “Mmm this smells good”. Now granted I have never tasted soy milk so I can’t really say, but as I was blending I could detect a faint smell of vanilla sweetness, but disregarded it. We are still unsure, since she wont go check her fridge to tell me. It has been confirmed ladies and gentlemen that it was in fact vanilla soy milk! In any case it wasn’t disgusting it was just strange, I compensated by adding more tomato sauce and seasonings. Bring on the pepper!

Is it vanilla? We may never know!

After a few more tastes, I adjusted it and it was in fact tasty. I am not lying I swear. All was well.

Next we strained the pasta… strained? Drained? What’s the correct term? Anyways we removed the water and added it to the pan. Gave it a stir and added in the parsley.

The finished product! With no vanilla taste.

So that was all the pasta turned out great! Everyone loved it, and all was right in the kitchen of Alexis and Violet. Until next time.

*I did enjoy this dish however next time I would choose silken tofu and preferably plain soy milk, although I am still not sure if in fact it was flavored. Update coming soon! I look forward to sharing more recipes and trying out new techniques.

**Important update! It has been confirmed ladies and gentlemen that it was in fact vanilla soy milk! I think I did great considering there was no vanilla taste left, just a sweet and creamy tomato flavor to it. So if I could make some damn good pasta with VANILLA soy milk I am sure using plain would be a lot better.


1 medium onion

3 cloves of garlic

2 T. of Extra Virgin Olive Oil

16 oz. of tomato sauce

160z. of pasta (your choice I used farfalle)

Handful of chopped of parsley (add basil if you have any!)

Seasonings (Garlic salt, Ground Black Pepper, Red Pepper Flakes)

1 cup of heavy cream or heavy cream substitute.

Published in: on January 8, 2011 at 9:29 am  Leave a Comment  

I Wish I Had Come Up With This

-Love Song of the Fly-Mirah and Spectratone International

I take offer of your open window, oh
and permit myself the nearness of you
even just the scent of what you’ve left behind
drives me in circles of lust
oh your crumbs and your dust

I enter each room and perform for you
might you love me alone for my skill and grace
how we tease and chase
this song for you I hum in your favorite key
please render me adoringly

But sweet ribbons you vex me
when your treachery holds me fast
my adoration only led me straight into your trap
I beheld them a gift for me
never dreamed they would extinguish me
though perfumed, my wings are torn
a fallen warrior

Oh why do you despise me
Only criticize me
your wrath collides with the love that resides
in kaleidoscope eyes
you care not for my speed and bravery
you only think me base and dirty
but I love you still darling
multiplying in my eyes

I wished only to care for you
make beautiful your castaways
you see all life is bound with this grace
I regenerate hope with
every morsel on which I feed
and in return all I ask is compassion and tenderness
that’s all any lover really needs

And now you know
I cherished you so
I’ll perish, though
become your dust

Published in: on December 15, 2010 at 7:06 am  Leave a Comment  

Merry Christmas! Buy me things!

Just because I am a pretentious little brat.

I will love you forever if you get me this in 8.5 women’s please!!


Mugs: I really really love mugs, especially the novelty kind that are cute, and witty. I just prefer large mugs, since I drink large amounts of coffee.

Necklaces and Bracelets: No I don’t mean the fancy diamond ones, I don’t care much for those. I really like vintage looking type of jewelry or earthy/woodsy.

Bags: I really like messenger bags, if you get me a medium sized messenger bag that doesnt have studs,diamonds, or any designs on it I will be happy. Preferably in black or navy.

Scarves: Simple ones, non frilly furry, or anything crazy. A long cozy scarf of any color.

Garden Gnomes, Octopi, Victorian/Vintage figurines anything strange.

Candles: I am a candle fanatic, but can be picky with scents. I like fruity/tropical/sweet scents. Best candles are from Bath and Body works. Or home fragrance oils work too, I already have a burner.

Specifics: For those that find it difficult to shop for me

Mole Skin Journal:in green or red with a really nice pen


Hot Couture-Givenchy


Miss Dior Cherie-Dior

So Hooked on Carmella-Benefit


Anything by Chuck Palahnuik that is not Fight Club, Invisible Monsters, Haunted, or Lullaby

Dvds: Golden Girls Complete series

Documentaries on Murders (it is okay don’t call the school psychologist)

Gift Cards: Borders, Bath and Body Works, MAC, Sephora, Pier 1, Target

Favorite Colors: Black, Navy, Green, Dark Purple, and Dark red.

Published in: on December 13, 2010 at 5:02 am  Leave a Comment  

Who are you calling a procrastinator? Oh me? That would be correct. Cookies anyone?

Today I had big plans to go to the new Inglot store that opened in Fashion Island in Irvine. I decided to wake up extra early and wash some clothes. I went to sleep at around 2 a.m and woke up at 7:30 am.  I was all ready and excited to go …then I called my sister. She said we would go next weekend. *sigh*. I went about my Sunday, watching the Golden Girls and the Craft. I know I am  a party animal. After a trip to get some much needed groceries with my parents and a trip to Target, and after a disgusting meal at Del Taco I got home and procrastinated. I put it off even longer by deciding to bake some cookies.  I made these bad boys

Unfortunatley they were really bad. The first batch I made burned. It was dead. Gone. Even my dad who loves burned food said, “You want me to throw those away for you?”. I had some supplies left so after another attempt they came out decent. My mistake was making them too large. I made 24 in the 1st batch and the second time I made them I got 36. Anyways I am not a baker, I try and stick to cooking, but I am trying my best to improve. Next time Ill get em!

Anyways I have far too much homework to do. For my AP Literature class I have to write an essay and take a position on whether or not Willy Lowman is a tragic hero.  Our teacher has expressed great disappointment in our work. I wish I could turn out a mind blowing essay and BAM get a 9. Not tonight. Next I have some question for my Marine Biology class. I stopped paying attention. The atmosphere isn’t productive and I have lost interest. Sue me. Finally I will be in a debate “Is Barbie detrimental to young girls?” I took the pro side. So I need to do that research. Finally, on a Sunday night tradition I need to wash my clothes.  I hate Sundays.

Published in: on December 6, 2010 at 4:44 am  Leave a Comment